Woke up at 7 on Saturday. Ate one large apple and biked 4 miles to work. Cleaned for 2 hours, biked to the co-op, then the fruit stand...about 2 miles total. At my next job I ate 3 large melons and cleaned for 2 hours. Biked 2 miles back downtown and bused to my last job. Ate 6 mango, 1/2 lb. of romaine smoothie. It was really, really good. I haven't had mango's in a while. I cooked/cleaned for 2 hours. Before I left I tasted some of the food I had made and ended up burning the top of my mouth, which really irritated me and I felt like an idiot for even tasting it, plus my ears immediately clogged up once again. I was mad at myself and didn't know what my freaking problem was and why I am not able to pull myself together and eat only foods that I thrive on. I know that I am struggling against years and years of bad food addictions and that I am making steps forward. At least I am only eating one meal a day that is harmful, my binges used to include every meal the entire day. So I am making progress, although it seems to be going a little bit slow for me.
My mom came by my work to get my house key, but I was just finishing so she put my bike on her bike rack and drove to my house. We than rode our bikes 4 miles to downtown and hung out at the Goddess festival for a while and went to a concert in the park. At 9 we rode back to my house and my mom gave me a ride to a get together I wanted to go to. I got there at about 11:30. Most of the food that people had brought was already gone...thankfully! I tried eating a little bit of chips, but my mouth hurt too bad from burning it earlier...so that was a good thing!
I hung out and socialized and fell asleep really late...at about 2 a.m.
Woke up the next morning at around 9. I was really really tired. I cleaned up a little. Ate half a watermelon and rode 2 miles to church. At church I ate my other half of watermelon. I love the people at the Mennonite church, they actually encourage me in my fruit eating and I got lots of great comments from people as I was trying to finish my watermelon before service started.
After church I rode 5 miles to my clients house. I cooked/cleaned for one hour. They were fine with making it a short day since I usually only come in for them Monday through Friday, but they needed me extra this week because Bob had knee surgery and still was recovering.
I didn't taste the food this time. It didn't even tempt me, part of that was because it was so early in the day. The evenings are when I struggle the most.
I rode 1 mile home and took an hour nap.
My mom came over and woke me up. I ate half a huge watermelon and we rode our bikes 4 miles downtown...my mom is wanting to ride her bike more and eat better...yay! It is fun riding with her and I get to show her all the great fruit trees and berries I find growing wild.
We than rode 4 miles to a church ice cream social. I knew the ice cream wouldn't tempt me, but I wasn't counting on the homemade rhubarb cobbler that I ate a bunch of. I didn't feel too bad other than my ears clogged up and I got a horrible case of gas, but my mind was clear and didn't get foggy. Could have just eaten the watermelon I brought, but...sigh...I am getting there.
We rode 2 miles back to my house. My mom went home. I went to bed at about 10 p.m.
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I'd seriously consider that there is nothing wrong with you at all. You are binging and eating things you don't want to eat because you are undereating on fruit. No matter if you want to lose weight or not, a minimum of 3,000 calories is what you need to be taking in and especially with your activity level. Try flooding your body with ripe fruit calories earlier in the day and you will no longer eat things you don't want to be eating. And the second your mind wanders to eating something you do not want to be, go grab some ripe fruit and start eating because you are undercarbed and your mind is going to a dense calorie source. In time your brain will re-train itself.
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