I've gotten a little behind on my blog these last few days.
Days twenty seven and twenty eight were pretty much the same. I ate fruit all day and lost my grip in the evenings. On Monday evening I ate some raw cheese and had bad dreams, slept horribly and had a stomach ache all night. Tues. morning I woke up at 5, biked 4 miles to yoga, came home took a small nap and biked a mile to my job, cooked/cleaned for 2 hours. That evening I went to a potluck and ate a bunch of cooked vegan food. Went to bed around 11.
Wed. morning I woke up at 6. Biked a mile to the bus stop and bused downtown to pick up my boys. I drank 16 oz. of fresh squeezed oj at flying M. Can't really remember much of what I ate that day but it was all fruit until that evening when the kids and I went to a dome building get together and I ate a bunch of vegan food. Exercise was pretty mild on Wed., mostly bused places. Went to bed around 10:30.
Thursday morning I woke up at 5 feeling horrible and bloated. I drank some water, Savana and I biked 1 mile to the bus stop and bused to yoga class. I did yoga for an hour and a half, my yoga instructor was talking about commitment. I realized that I hadn't been fully committed to eating all low-fat raw and that was why I was still struggling. There is still a part of me that keeps thinking that one meal a day won't really hurt me that much, moderation is where it is at. Well it is hurting me and I need to decide what my commitment to my health really is. I struggled through yoga class, I felt so awful and couldn't focus.
We then biked 2 miles to my first job. I ate 2 cantaloupe and cleaned for 2 hours. I started feeling quite a bit better. We biked a mile and a half to my 2nd job. I cleaned for 2 hours. We walked a block over to my 3rd job and I cleaned for 2 more hours. We than biked a half mile to the co-op, I bought Savana lunch and I drank 10 tomato/celery smoothie that I had made that morning. We biked 1/4 mile to the hospital and visited my dad who is in there with pneumonia. He had a stroke a couple of years ago and is in really bad shape and wants to die. I don't blame him and wish there was some way I could end his misery.
Savana and I then bused to the fruit stand where I bought a bunch of fruit and ate a melon. We bused to my 4th job. I had a 12 banana/pound of spinach smoothie and cleaned/cooked for 2 hours. We then biked a mile home. At home I ate a small handful of Savana's organic potato chips and immediately felt it bring me down. I told Savana to put her chips away and decided that I wasn't going to damage my body this evening. I instead ate .25 lb. of dates. Went to bed at 10:30.
Savana was such a trooper all day, at 10 years old she went all over town with me while I did yoga and cleaned 4 houses...a total of 10 1/2 hours, not including travel time...what a great kid.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Day's twenty five and twenty six..only 4 more days.
Woke up at 7 on Saturday. Ate one large apple and biked 4 miles to work. Cleaned for 2 hours, biked to the co-op, then the fruit stand...about 2 miles total. At my next job I ate 3 large melons and cleaned for 2 hours. Biked 2 miles back downtown and bused to my last job. Ate 6 mango, 1/2 lb. of romaine smoothie. It was really, really good. I haven't had mango's in a while. I cooked/cleaned for 2 hours. Before I left I tasted some of the food I had made and ended up burning the top of my mouth, which really irritated me and I felt like an idiot for even tasting it, plus my ears immediately clogged up once again. I was mad at myself and didn't know what my freaking problem was and why I am not able to pull myself together and eat only foods that I thrive on. I know that I am struggling against years and years of bad food addictions and that I am making steps forward. At least I am only eating one meal a day that is harmful, my binges used to include every meal the entire day. So I am making progress, although it seems to be going a little bit slow for me.
My mom came by my work to get my house key, but I was just finishing so she put my bike on her bike rack and drove to my house. We than rode our bikes 4 miles to downtown and hung out at the Goddess festival for a while and went to a concert in the park. At 9 we rode back to my house and my mom gave me a ride to a get together I wanted to go to. I got there at about 11:30. Most of the food that people had brought was already gone...thankfully! I tried eating a little bit of chips, but my mouth hurt too bad from burning it earlier...so that was a good thing!
I hung out and socialized and fell asleep really late...at about 2 a.m.
Woke up the next morning at around 9. I was really really tired. I cleaned up a little. Ate half a watermelon and rode 2 miles to church. At church I ate my other half of watermelon. I love the people at the Mennonite church, they actually encourage me in my fruit eating and I got lots of great comments from people as I was trying to finish my watermelon before service started.
After church I rode 5 miles to my clients house. I cooked/cleaned for one hour. They were fine with making it a short day since I usually only come in for them Monday through Friday, but they needed me extra this week because Bob had knee surgery and still was recovering.
I didn't taste the food this time. It didn't even tempt me, part of that was because it was so early in the day. The evenings are when I struggle the most.
I rode 1 mile home and took an hour nap.
My mom came over and woke me up. I ate half a huge watermelon and we rode our bikes 4 miles downtown...my mom is wanting to ride her bike more and eat better...yay! It is fun riding with her and I get to show her all the great fruit trees and berries I find growing wild.
We than rode 4 miles to a church ice cream social. I knew the ice cream wouldn't tempt me, but I wasn't counting on the homemade rhubarb cobbler that I ate a bunch of. I didn't feel too bad other than my ears clogged up and I got a horrible case of gas, but my mind was clear and didn't get foggy. Could have just eaten the watermelon I brought, but...sigh...I am getting there.
We rode 2 miles back to my house. My mom went home. I went to bed at about 10 p.m.
My mom came by my work to get my house key, but I was just finishing so she put my bike on her bike rack and drove to my house. We than rode our bikes 4 miles to downtown and hung out at the Goddess festival for a while and went to a concert in the park. At 9 we rode back to my house and my mom gave me a ride to a get together I wanted to go to. I got there at about 11:30. Most of the food that people had brought was already gone...thankfully! I tried eating a little bit of chips, but my mouth hurt too bad from burning it earlier...so that was a good thing!
I hung out and socialized and fell asleep really late...at about 2 a.m.
Woke up the next morning at around 9. I was really really tired. I cleaned up a little. Ate half a watermelon and rode 2 miles to church. At church I ate my other half of watermelon. I love the people at the Mennonite church, they actually encourage me in my fruit eating and I got lots of great comments from people as I was trying to finish my watermelon before service started.
After church I rode 5 miles to my clients house. I cooked/cleaned for one hour. They were fine with making it a short day since I usually only come in for them Monday through Friday, but they needed me extra this week because Bob had knee surgery and still was recovering.
I didn't taste the food this time. It didn't even tempt me, part of that was because it was so early in the day. The evenings are when I struggle the most.
I rode 1 mile home and took an hour nap.
My mom came over and woke me up. I ate half a huge watermelon and we rode our bikes 4 miles downtown...my mom is wanting to ride her bike more and eat better...yay! It is fun riding with her and I get to show her all the great fruit trees and berries I find growing wild.
We than rode 4 miles to a church ice cream social. I knew the ice cream wouldn't tempt me, but I wasn't counting on the homemade rhubarb cobbler that I ate a bunch of. I didn't feel too bad other than my ears clogged up and I got a horrible case of gas, but my mind was clear and didn't get foggy. Could have just eaten the watermelon I brought, but...sigh...I am getting there.
We rode 2 miles back to my house. My mom went home. I went to bed at about 10 p.m.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Day's twenty three and twenty four
Woke up at 5 a.m. and ate an apple. Rode 1 mile on the tandem bike to the bus stop with Savana and locked the bike up there. Bused to yoga class and did 90 minutes of yoga. It was a fantastic class... tired Savana slept through it :) After class we bused to Savana's writing camp, I dropped her off and bused to Flying M. At Flying M I drank 64 oz. of delicious fresh squeezed oj. Then I walked 1/2 mile to the co-op, bought groceries and socialized. I walked 1/4 mile to the bank, cashed some checks and socialized. Bused back to pick up Savana from camp. We bused back to the tandem and rode 1/4 mile to my first cleaning job. There my client left me a note saying I could pick all the raspberries on wanted from their raspberry bush out back. I was so excited I was frantic trying to get the sliding door open...my daughter was laughing at me :) I feasted on as many raspberries as I could find...there were a lot, Savana of course, refused to try even one. After that I cleaned for 2 hours and we biked 1 mile to my last cleaning job.
At my last job I was just finishing my 11 banana, 1/2 pounds spinach, 1/2 pound stinging nettle smoothie (wouldn't recommend stinging nettle raw), when I received a phone call from my boys dad. He said they were in town for the day and I could see the boys that evening if I wanted. (He loves to call me at the last minute about such things, my boys live in Utah with their dad and I usually see them once a month. Shawn is 16 and Scott is 14). Luckily I didn't have plans because I never want to miss a chance to see my boys. He brought the boys over to my clients house, where they went out to the pond in the backyard and rode on the paddle boat and caught craw-fish (which I had them throw back). I was making stir fried rice, veggies and organic chicken for my clients for dinner and there was plenty so the boys and Savana had some. I ate a very small amount and of course my ears clogged up.
After work Savana and I rode the tandem the mile back home and the boys ran. My oldest son is a very good runner. Back at home I have a jalapeno plant that is ready. I don't eat jalapeno's and I grew them just for the fun of it. Shawn wanted to eat one and I warned him that it was really hot and maybe he should let me take the seeds out. He scoffed at that and took a huge bite....haha....his face was bright red and he started panting to try and cool his mouth off. So then he asked me to take the seeds out. I was holding it by the tip trying not to touch it so it wouldn't burn my skin. Shawn wanted to know why I was holding it funny. I told him that it would burn my skin. He scoffed at that as well. I took the seeds out and handed it back to him. He took another bite and said it was still too hot. I told him to put it in the compost, which he did and then he went to the bathroom. He came out of the bathroom and about 15 seconds later started jumping around saying his privates were burning. I thought that was the funniest thing. I said it was from the pepper and that I had told him that it could burn skin. He ran back in the bathroom to wash it off and I was laughing so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes. I wiped away my tears and all of a sudden my eyes were on fire. So now I was the one jumping around, I ran outside and stuck my head under the hose. So the rest of the night Shawn and I were suffering from jalapeno pepper burns...lol..but we still had a lot of fun. We ended the night playing rummy until the boys dad came to get them at around 9:30. Then Savana and I were in bed by 10.
I woke up at 6:30 and felt really good. I was still very happy that I got to spend time with my boys. Savana rode her scooter and I biked the mile to the bus stop. We bused to her writing camp and dropped her off. I biked 1/4 mile to Flying M and had 64 oz. of fresh squeezed oj. I then biked 1/4 mile to the co-op. Biked 1/4 mile to the bank. Biked 1/4 mile to the library and got on the computer there for an hour. I walked next door to Savana's writing camp to watch her do her reading for the last day of camp. She did a great reading and then went home with her dad. I had an hour downtown to do nothing before meeting my sister for lunch. So I rode 1/4 mile to the grove, sat and people watched. That was great fun. Rode a couple blocks to Bittercreek to meet my sister. I had fresh squeezed oj and a tomato. My sister is struggling in her life right now, she has many health problems and chronic bowel problems, all she thinks about is how to lose weight (taking speed or laxatives is usually how she does this). I wish she would focus more on health and realize that with healthy eating you naturally lose weight. It is amazing to me that after seeing me lose so much weight by eating healthy that she doesn't realize that the same thing will work for her. Regardless I wish the best for her and I try not to say anything about food. I just try to show her that I love and support her. She is also working on getting out of a very abusive marriage. I really hope she finds her strength and can make her life better.
So after lunch I picked up meat scraps for the cats and biked 4 miles home. Dropped off the meat and biked 1 mile to my last job. I made a 11 banana, 1/2 lb. of greens from my yard smoothie and cleaned for 2 hours. I also ate a small amount of plain mashed potatoes and turkey (once again my ears clogged). After work I biked 1 mile home.
I watered the garden, watched a movie and ate .25 lb. of dates. I felt pretty good other than my ears. My thoughts were clear and I felt strong physically.
I went to bed around 9:30.
At my last job I was just finishing my 11 banana, 1/2 pounds spinach, 1/2 pound stinging nettle smoothie (wouldn't recommend stinging nettle raw), when I received a phone call from my boys dad. He said they were in town for the day and I could see the boys that evening if I wanted. (He loves to call me at the last minute about such things, my boys live in Utah with their dad and I usually see them once a month. Shawn is 16 and Scott is 14). Luckily I didn't have plans because I never want to miss a chance to see my boys. He brought the boys over to my clients house, where they went out to the pond in the backyard and rode on the paddle boat and caught craw-fish (which I had them throw back). I was making stir fried rice, veggies and organic chicken for my clients for dinner and there was plenty so the boys and Savana had some. I ate a very small amount and of course my ears clogged up.
After work Savana and I rode the tandem the mile back home and the boys ran. My oldest son is a very good runner. Back at home I have a jalapeno plant that is ready. I don't eat jalapeno's and I grew them just for the fun of it. Shawn wanted to eat one and I warned him that it was really hot and maybe he should let me take the seeds out. He scoffed at that and took a huge bite....haha....his face was bright red and he started panting to try and cool his mouth off. So then he asked me to take the seeds out. I was holding it by the tip trying not to touch it so it wouldn't burn my skin. Shawn wanted to know why I was holding it funny. I told him that it would burn my skin. He scoffed at that as well. I took the seeds out and handed it back to him. He took another bite and said it was still too hot. I told him to put it in the compost, which he did and then he went to the bathroom. He came out of the bathroom and about 15 seconds later started jumping around saying his privates were burning. I thought that was the funniest thing. I said it was from the pepper and that I had told him that it could burn skin. He ran back in the bathroom to wash it off and I was laughing so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes. I wiped away my tears and all of a sudden my eyes were on fire. So now I was the one jumping around, I ran outside and stuck my head under the hose. So the rest of the night Shawn and I were suffering from jalapeno pepper burns...lol..but we still had a lot of fun. We ended the night playing rummy until the boys dad came to get them at around 9:30. Then Savana and I were in bed by 10.
I woke up at 6:30 and felt really good. I was still very happy that I got to spend time with my boys. Savana rode her scooter and I biked the mile to the bus stop. We bused to her writing camp and dropped her off. I biked 1/4 mile to Flying M and had 64 oz. of fresh squeezed oj. I then biked 1/4 mile to the co-op. Biked 1/4 mile to the bank. Biked 1/4 mile to the library and got on the computer there for an hour. I walked next door to Savana's writing camp to watch her do her reading for the last day of camp. She did a great reading and then went home with her dad. I had an hour downtown to do nothing before meeting my sister for lunch. So I rode 1/4 mile to the grove, sat and people watched. That was great fun. Rode a couple blocks to Bittercreek to meet my sister. I had fresh squeezed oj and a tomato. My sister is struggling in her life right now, she has many health problems and chronic bowel problems, all she thinks about is how to lose weight (taking speed or laxatives is usually how she does this). I wish she would focus more on health and realize that with healthy eating you naturally lose weight. It is amazing to me that after seeing me lose so much weight by eating healthy that she doesn't realize that the same thing will work for her. Regardless I wish the best for her and I try not to say anything about food. I just try to show her that I love and support her. She is also working on getting out of a very abusive marriage. I really hope she finds her strength and can make her life better.
So after lunch I picked up meat scraps for the cats and biked 4 miles home. Dropped off the meat and biked 1 mile to my last job. I made a 11 banana, 1/2 lb. of greens from my yard smoothie and cleaned for 2 hours. I also ate a small amount of plain mashed potatoes and turkey (once again my ears clogged). After work I biked 1 mile home.
I watered the garden, watched a movie and ate .25 lb. of dates. I felt pretty good other than my ears. My thoughts were clear and I felt strong physically.
I went to bed around 9:30.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Day twenty two
I woke up at 6:30 this morning and felt wonderful. I sleep so good when I eat all raw fruits and greens, just that in itself should keep me on track, not the case though.
I biked a mile to the bus stop with Savana and bused downtown. Then biked 1/2 mile to Savana's writing camp, dropped her off and rode a mile to my first job. Cleaned for 2 hours and ate an apple. Biked a mile to flying M and had 38 oz. of fresh squeezed oj while I sat outside and checked my e-mail on my laptop. Biked a mile to pick up Savana and we both biked 2 miles to my next cleaning job. At that job I ate 3 melon and cleaned for 2 hours. Then we bused back downtown. Savana played in the fountain while I rested on some grass nearby. Later we bused to a friends house to help with a dome building project. There was tons of food there and I ate a bunch of green salad and some cooked grains and pasta. Amazingly I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I felt heavy, had slight sinus pressure and my ears were throbbing...despite all that I was happy to spend time with great people. I really wished I had that light energy fruit eating feeling, instead of feeling so heavy. I think things are really starting to click for me and I will be staying all raw. I really crave health and vitality and I know how to have that in my life at all times. I feel such a strong need right now to surround myself with positive energy inside and out. Tomorrow is a new day of growth and healing...I am looking forward to it!
I biked a mile to the bus stop with Savana and bused downtown. Then biked 1/2 mile to Savana's writing camp, dropped her off and rode a mile to my first job. Cleaned for 2 hours and ate an apple. Biked a mile to flying M and had 38 oz. of fresh squeezed oj while I sat outside and checked my e-mail on my laptop. Biked a mile to pick up Savana and we both biked 2 miles to my next cleaning job. At that job I ate 3 melon and cleaned for 2 hours. Then we bused back downtown. Savana played in the fountain while I rested on some grass nearby. Later we bused to a friends house to help with a dome building project. There was tons of food there and I ate a bunch of green salad and some cooked grains and pasta. Amazingly I didn't feel as bad as I thought I would. I felt heavy, had slight sinus pressure and my ears were throbbing...despite all that I was happy to spend time with great people. I really wished I had that light energy fruit eating feeling, instead of feeling so heavy. I think things are really starting to click for me and I will be staying all raw. I really crave health and vitality and I know how to have that in my life at all times. I feel such a strong need right now to surround myself with positive energy inside and out. Tomorrow is a new day of growth and healing...I am looking forward to it!
Days twenty and tweny one
Only 9 more days and I will be done with my thirty days. It is going by a lot faster than I thought it would.
Monday was a really hard day.
I woke up at 6. Ate 1 melon. Bike a mile to the bus stop. Bused downtown to drop off my daughter at writing camp. Biked a mile to the co-op. Biked 3 miles to the fruit stand. Ate 2 melons at the fruit stand and chatted. Biked 2 miles to my first cleaning job. Cleaned for 2 hours. Biked 2 miles to my next cleaning job, ate 1 lb. of cherries and cleaned for 2 hours. Biked 1/2 a mile to my last cleaning job. Ate 13 banana, 1/2 lb. spinach smoothie and cleaned/cooked for 2 hours. When getting ready to leave I ate about 3 cups of spaghetti with some organic beef in it. I immediately felt bloated and foggy headed. My nephew had dropped my daughter off with her scooter at my last cleaning job. Savana didn't want to ride the scooter the mile back home, so I let her ride my bike and I rode her scooter. It was an amazing work out. I was trying to keep up with her and that little scooter and I was pouring sweat by the time I got home, but it felt good. Even after that workout, my thoughts were still cloudy and I was very irritable and had this intense anger. My daughter kept throwing a fit because I told her that in the morning we had to get up early and go do yoga. She is used to going to her grandma's when I work and do things, but her grandma had knee surgery and so Savana is stuck with me until her grandma recovers. So anyway, she threw a fit for 2 hours, saying she wanted to live with her dad and on and on. My head was so cloudy that I couldn't come up with a way to resolve things like I usually can and that frustrated me even more, plus this anger in me kept building and building. I wished so bad that I hadn't eaten that spaghetti, it was affecting my parenting and making things so I couldn't think straight. Finally after 2 hours of Savana freaking out, I lost it and started yelling at her and told her to pack her bags and call her dad because she was living with him from now on. She immediately calmed down and said she didn't think things through, she didn't want to live with her dad and she was sorry. I apologized too and we finally went to bed at 10:30.
I had horrible dreams and woke up at 3 a.m. My head hurt and was fuzzy still. I couldn't go back to sleep so I just lied there for 2 hours and tried to rest. At 5 a.m. I got Savana up and she was just happy as ever to be going to yoga. We rode a mile to the bus stop and bused downtown town. Did an hour and a half of yoga, my yoga instructor was talking about energy and that really got me thinking about my energy the day before and how I don't want to put negative energy in my body anymore...only life giving energy. Afterward I ate 1 melon. Rode a mile to writing camp and dropped Savana off. Biked 1/2 mile to Flying M and had 48 oz. of fresh squeezed oj. Biked 1/2 mile to the co-op and ate 2 large organic apples on the gazebo after buying some groceries. Biked 1 mile back to writing camp and slept for an hour in the sun on the front lawn until Savana was go out of camp. I took Savana to pizza for lunch and she had vegetarian pizza. I was tempted to get a vegan one, but decided that I didn't want that kind of energy to go into my body. We took the bus home. I picked a bunch of wild unwashed greens from my garden and yard....thistle, purslane, lambs quarter, romaine and dandelions and we rode a mile to my job. I cooked/cleaned for 2 hours and had a 10 banana/ 1 lb. of wild greens smoothie. I felt so good after that smoothie. My thoughts became clear and I felt very peaceful and grounded. We rode a mile home. I watered the garden watched a movie and ate 1/2 lb. of dates and went to bed at 9.
Monday was a really hard day.
I woke up at 6. Ate 1 melon. Bike a mile to the bus stop. Bused downtown to drop off my daughter at writing camp. Biked a mile to the co-op. Biked 3 miles to the fruit stand. Ate 2 melons at the fruit stand and chatted. Biked 2 miles to my first cleaning job. Cleaned for 2 hours. Biked 2 miles to my next cleaning job, ate 1 lb. of cherries and cleaned for 2 hours. Biked 1/2 a mile to my last cleaning job. Ate 13 banana, 1/2 lb. spinach smoothie and cleaned/cooked for 2 hours. When getting ready to leave I ate about 3 cups of spaghetti with some organic beef in it. I immediately felt bloated and foggy headed. My nephew had dropped my daughter off with her scooter at my last cleaning job. Savana didn't want to ride the scooter the mile back home, so I let her ride my bike and I rode her scooter. It was an amazing work out. I was trying to keep up with her and that little scooter and I was pouring sweat by the time I got home, but it felt good. Even after that workout, my thoughts were still cloudy and I was very irritable and had this intense anger. My daughter kept throwing a fit because I told her that in the morning we had to get up early and go do yoga. She is used to going to her grandma's when I work and do things, but her grandma had knee surgery and so Savana is stuck with me until her grandma recovers. So anyway, she threw a fit for 2 hours, saying she wanted to live with her dad and on and on. My head was so cloudy that I couldn't come up with a way to resolve things like I usually can and that frustrated me even more, plus this anger in me kept building and building. I wished so bad that I hadn't eaten that spaghetti, it was affecting my parenting and making things so I couldn't think straight. Finally after 2 hours of Savana freaking out, I lost it and started yelling at her and told her to pack her bags and call her dad because she was living with him from now on. She immediately calmed down and said she didn't think things through, she didn't want to live with her dad and she was sorry. I apologized too and we finally went to bed at 10:30.
I had horrible dreams and woke up at 3 a.m. My head hurt and was fuzzy still. I couldn't go back to sleep so I just lied there for 2 hours and tried to rest. At 5 a.m. I got Savana up and she was just happy as ever to be going to yoga. We rode a mile to the bus stop and bused downtown town. Did an hour and a half of yoga, my yoga instructor was talking about energy and that really got me thinking about my energy the day before and how I don't want to put negative energy in my body anymore...only life giving energy. Afterward I ate 1 melon. Rode a mile to writing camp and dropped Savana off. Biked 1/2 mile to Flying M and had 48 oz. of fresh squeezed oj. Biked 1/2 mile to the co-op and ate 2 large organic apples on the gazebo after buying some groceries. Biked 1 mile back to writing camp and slept for an hour in the sun on the front lawn until Savana was go out of camp. I took Savana to pizza for lunch and she had vegetarian pizza. I was tempted to get a vegan one, but decided that I didn't want that kind of energy to go into my body. We took the bus home. I picked a bunch of wild unwashed greens from my garden and yard....thistle, purslane, lambs quarter, romaine and dandelions and we rode a mile to my job. I cooked/cleaned for 2 hours and had a 10 banana/ 1 lb. of wild greens smoothie. I felt so good after that smoothie. My thoughts became clear and I felt very peaceful and grounded. We rode a mile home. I watered the garden watched a movie and ate 1/2 lb. of dates and went to bed at 9.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Day nineteen
After my last post I ended up eating about 4 slices of raw goat cheese. I didn't feel any different at first and then a half hour later I broke out into a sweat, my forehead started tingling, my thoughts became foggy and all of a sudden the heat really started to bother me. I drank a bunch of water but that didn't seem to make me feel any better.
I went to bed at around 10 and had horrible dreams about a man killing his wife and baby. It was awful.
Woke up at 4 in a sweat and my mind was really foggy still. I drank a bunch more water and went back to sleep from 6 til 8.
When I woke up the second time I felt much better. I had 2 large melons for breakfast. I had set up a ride for church since it was at a park clear on the other side of Meridian, I knew it was too far for Savana to ride. Church was a lot of fun, we had service in the park and then had a potluck and a softball game afterward.
I didn't bring enough fruit with me and was hoping there would be enough at the potluck. I had brought half a watermelon to share. Well there wasn't enough fruit, if I would have eaten enough there wouldn't have been any left for anyone else. So I ate as much as I could without hogging it all. I knew I was in a really bad place and wasn't sure what to do. I knew I needed more calories if I wanted to play softball. I was eyeballing the chips and salsa. Instead I decided on some plain brown rice with a little salsa on top. I ate just a little to hold me over. It tasted so good that I ate more and more and more...I knew I was losing it! Finally I just threw my plate away and walked off to get myself together and breathe. My stomach was so full it was hard to walk and once again the heat started to bother me. My left ear started aching as well.
Thankfully the softball game started and I could focus on something else. I felt much better after playing softball. I had a hard time staying hydrated after all the salt that was in the salsa and my stomach was so full and bloated, but I did ok and softball was a blast.
After getting home I worked in my garden for a few hours and watched a movie on my laptop. I ate 1 lb. of dates during the movie and didn't eat anything else the rest of the day.
Went to bed around 10.
I went to bed at around 10 and had horrible dreams about a man killing his wife and baby. It was awful.
Woke up at 4 in a sweat and my mind was really foggy still. I drank a bunch more water and went back to sleep from 6 til 8.
When I woke up the second time I felt much better. I had 2 large melons for breakfast. I had set up a ride for church since it was at a park clear on the other side of Meridian, I knew it was too far for Savana to ride. Church was a lot of fun, we had service in the park and then had a potluck and a softball game afterward.
I didn't bring enough fruit with me and was hoping there would be enough at the potluck. I had brought half a watermelon to share. Well there wasn't enough fruit, if I would have eaten enough there wouldn't have been any left for anyone else. So I ate as much as I could without hogging it all. I knew I was in a really bad place and wasn't sure what to do. I knew I needed more calories if I wanted to play softball. I was eyeballing the chips and salsa. Instead I decided on some plain brown rice with a little salsa on top. I ate just a little to hold me over. It tasted so good that I ate more and more and more...I knew I was losing it! Finally I just threw my plate away and walked off to get myself together and breathe. My stomach was so full it was hard to walk and once again the heat started to bother me. My left ear started aching as well.
Thankfully the softball game started and I could focus on something else. I felt much better after playing softball. I had a hard time staying hydrated after all the salt that was in the salsa and my stomach was so full and bloated, but I did ok and softball was a blast.
After getting home I worked in my garden for a few hours and watched a movie on my laptop. I ate 1 lb. of dates during the movie and didn't eat anything else the rest of the day.
Went to bed around 10.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Days seventeen and eighteen: Friday and Saturday
Thursday night I believe I went to bed at around 9:30 and woke up on Friday at 7:30. I ate a large apple and rode 3 miles to work. At work I ate 3 more large apples and cleaned for 2 hours. I was feeling really good and strong. Nice peaceful happy thoughts. Next I rode a mile to the mall. Ate 1 lb. dates, took to bus about 6 miles, got off and rode the last 5 miles to work. Cleaned for 2 hours, was feeling really tired and weak. I kept thinking about that spaghetti sauce I made the night before at my last clients house. I knew there were still some leftovers in the fridge. I wanted to eat it when I went there next. Right before I left the house I was currently cleaning my client gave me three small cherry tomatoes, the first of their crop that they had just picked out of their garden. Those three little tomatoes tasted so incredibly good, they were still warm from the sun and they burst in my mouth, oooohhh...sooo delicious....and all of a sudden my spaghetti cravings were gone. A little light went on in my head and I realized that it was the tomatoes I had been craving all along. My body wanted tomatoes not processed spaghetti sauce. Yay! More understanding my body's language.
On the 6 mile ride to my last clients house I felt so wonderful. It was 100 degrees out, the sweat was pouring off me and I felt like I was invincible. What was even better was when I passed a sprinkler that sprayed me, I swear I could hear the water sizzle on my skin and it was the most amazing feeling. I was in full thriving mode and I knew that this is why I eat this way. This is why I crave health...just to experience the wonderful feeling of thriving. I started laughing and crying at the same time. I was in a full swing zone of health and vitality. Then as I kept biking I realized that I had brought into my life some negative energy lately and I needed to get it out. I had signed up on a dating web site called "plenty of fish" a couple of months ago. On the web site I was very clear about what I was looking for, but I swear none of the people that responded were anything close to what I was looking for and I doubt they even read what I wrote. I think they just looked at my picture and called it good. Everyone that talked to me on there had health problem, were needy, unhappy, etc. I was getting nothing positive from being on this web site and tons of negativity. Besides I am so totally happy being single, why do I want to date? So I decided that the dating web site needed to go...and it did...and I feel great about it.
So, back to arriving at my last job of the day. I made a 12 banana, head of red leaf lettuce smoothie, drank it and cleaned for two hours...(no cooking today..they were going out for dinner). I rode the last mile home. Sat outside in my lawn chair and talked with Jonathan. Ate one very small avocado and 5 large tomatoes. I was still in a very happy place, but was extremely tired. Jonathan kept talking to me about conspiracy theories and the "new world order" . It was causing my happy zone to fade so I told him I needed some alone time. When he left at 8. I got naked, crawled into bed and finished reading "Hunza Land", which is a fantastic read!! Very beautiful, healthy people. Then I went to sleep at around 8:30...it was a blissful 92 degrees in my house.
Woke up on Saturday at 7. Still felt tired. I ate 1/2 a watermelon for breakfast and had severe heartburn. Rode 3 miles to work, my heartburn had faded by then and I cleaned for 2 hours. Ate .25 lb. of dates and rode 3 miles to a fruit stand, bought a bunch of melons and rode a mile to my next job. Ate 3 melons and cleaned for 2 hours. Was really tired by this time. Very crabby about things. Wanted to stop eating all raw, was sick of fighting the cravings. Kept thinking about spaghetti again. Rode 3 miles to Bittercreek restaurant went in and had 2 large glasses of fresh squeezed OJ, 32 oz. They tasted so good and I was so very grateful to have a place to go that sells fresh squeezed OJ..(thanks Dave Krick for being awesome not only does he have fresh squeezed OJ but he gives me free local organic meat scraps for my cats, by 2012 he wants to have zero waste coming from his restaurant..what a guy.) I picked up cat meat scraps and rode 1/4 mile to the co-op, bought a bunch of food for my daughter since she would be coming back from her dad's tonight.
Rode 5 miles home and was feeling better mentally.
At home I made an 8 roma tomato, celery, romaine, 1/2 a very small avocado smoothie. It hit the spot! Did laundry, finally, I have had clothes soaking in the bathtub for 3 days and haven't gotten to washing them. I love washing my laundry by hand, it is a form of meditation for me, the same goes for cleaning houses. After I got them all hung and looking beautiful on the clothes line I decided to open my power bill. It was so great! I only used 38 kWh the whole month, $2.66 cents worth. My service charge was higher than my power usage. Woo hoo!!! I was very excited and did a victory dance. Thank you summer!!! Hopefully by next summer I will have a solar panel and be completely off grid. My goals are falling into place :)
On the 6 mile ride to my last clients house I felt so wonderful. It was 100 degrees out, the sweat was pouring off me and I felt like I was invincible. What was even better was when I passed a sprinkler that sprayed me, I swear I could hear the water sizzle on my skin and it was the most amazing feeling. I was in full thriving mode and I knew that this is why I eat this way. This is why I crave health...just to experience the wonderful feeling of thriving. I started laughing and crying at the same time. I was in a full swing zone of health and vitality. Then as I kept biking I realized that I had brought into my life some negative energy lately and I needed to get it out. I had signed up on a dating web site called "plenty of fish" a couple of months ago. On the web site I was very clear about what I was looking for, but I swear none of the people that responded were anything close to what I was looking for and I doubt they even read what I wrote. I think they just looked at my picture and called it good. Everyone that talked to me on there had health problem, were needy, unhappy, etc. I was getting nothing positive from being on this web site and tons of negativity. Besides I am so totally happy being single, why do I want to date? So I decided that the dating web site needed to go...and it did...and I feel great about it.
So, back to arriving at my last job of the day. I made a 12 banana, head of red leaf lettuce smoothie, drank it and cleaned for two hours...(no cooking today..they were going out for dinner). I rode the last mile home. Sat outside in my lawn chair and talked with Jonathan. Ate one very small avocado and 5 large tomatoes. I was still in a very happy place, but was extremely tired. Jonathan kept talking to me about conspiracy theories and the "new world order" . It was causing my happy zone to fade so I told him I needed some alone time. When he left at 8. I got naked, crawled into bed and finished reading "Hunza Land", which is a fantastic read!! Very beautiful, healthy people. Then I went to sleep at around 8:30...it was a blissful 92 degrees in my house.
Woke up on Saturday at 7. Still felt tired. I ate 1/2 a watermelon for breakfast and had severe heartburn. Rode 3 miles to work, my heartburn had faded by then and I cleaned for 2 hours. Ate .25 lb. of dates and rode 3 miles to a fruit stand, bought a bunch of melons and rode a mile to my next job. Ate 3 melons and cleaned for 2 hours. Was really tired by this time. Very crabby about things. Wanted to stop eating all raw, was sick of fighting the cravings. Kept thinking about spaghetti again. Rode 3 miles to Bittercreek restaurant went in and had 2 large glasses of fresh squeezed OJ, 32 oz. They tasted so good and I was so very grateful to have a place to go that sells fresh squeezed OJ..(thanks Dave Krick for being awesome not only does he have fresh squeezed OJ but he gives me free local organic meat scraps for my cats, by 2012 he wants to have zero waste coming from his restaurant..what a guy.) I picked up cat meat scraps and rode 1/4 mile to the co-op, bought a bunch of food for my daughter since she would be coming back from her dad's tonight.
Rode 5 miles home and was feeling better mentally.
At home I made an 8 roma tomato, celery, romaine, 1/2 a very small avocado smoothie. It hit the spot! Did laundry, finally, I have had clothes soaking in the bathtub for 3 days and haven't gotten to washing them. I love washing my laundry by hand, it is a form of meditation for me, the same goes for cleaning houses. After I got them all hung and looking beautiful on the clothes line I decided to open my power bill. It was so great! I only used 38 kWh the whole month, $2.66 cents worth. My service charge was higher than my power usage. Woo hoo!!! I was very excited and did a victory dance. Thank you summer!!! Hopefully by next summer I will have a solar panel and be completely off grid. My goals are falling into place :)
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